Monday, 20 April 2015

I tried to be an atheist once...

I tried, desperately, when I was aged between 19 and 21 to be an atheist. No religion for me, I joked. It's all a bit silly. No it makes no sense. I shall assemble my philosophy from the ramblings of youtube and the murmurings of Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens.

But it was a poor endeavour. And I found that the more I mixed in the atheist circles, the more I realised that as much as they weren't religious, they were religious. Attending meetings where I was implored to bring the "good news" (of a lack of God) to people and arrange more meetings and more gatherings to talk of "logic" and "science" as if reason and religion were mutually exclusive. It just reminded me of the days of my catechism as a Roman Catholic. I could hear the words of Irena (my cathechist) coming from the mouths of these empassioned young boys who with great fervour declared that God did not exist as much as she once pressed to me that God did exist.

But I was not a good atheist. I had yearnings for more to my existence. My father pointed out to me (an atheist himself) that there was much more to life than just the chemicals and physics and mathematics of the universe. In atheism, there is nought but materialism. No Aristolean reason that matter is possessed of substance and nature. No, what it is it is and cannot be but. There is no reason behind that. It is not logical.

But that is an aside point. I couldn't hack it. It embued with me with a good world outlook however that people don't believe in God and why they put their faith in materialism instead. For me, it was too much like hard work. I prefer to support a good cause - making people happy, than upsetting them.

I was a terrible atheist, but I try to be a good theist. I am only a human.

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